The Hook-Up

Her: Hey you let’s chat.
Him: Ok
Her: Thanks for adding me as a friend. I hope your wife doesn’t mind.
Him: Why would she mind? She has no clue.
Her: You didn’t tell her our history?
Him: Hell no. I was seeing her at the time…remember?
Her: Oh, right. So she knows nothing?
Him: Nothing. She’s clueless.
Her: Did you even tell her about your Ex?
Him: All she knows is that she’s my Ex but I never gave her details.
Her: How come?
Him: It’s none of her business.
Her: I noticed she’s not on your friends list.
Him: Yeah. It’s complicated. Is she on yours?
Her: No. I never asked.
Him: Why not?
Her: I broke the code.
Him: Do you think she knows?
Her: I don’t know but it’s not like she’s approached me.
Him: She knows.
Her: Oh. So what’s new? Got another kid on the way?
Him: Ha-Ha - you’re funny. What have you been up to?
Her: My horses.
Him: So you’ve moved on to bigger.
Her: And better. I have needs too you know.
Him: Don’t I know it. Aren’t you afraid of disease…for the horses?
Her: I clean them every week. I am a mother you know.
Him: Does your husband know?
Her: He’s clueless too.
Him: So he doesn’t know his wife is a mega super slut?
Her: How would he? It’s not like we met in college.
Him: I met mine in college and she still doesn’t know about me. She’s ignorant like that.
Her: HaHa - but I thought she was smart. Doesn’t she have a bunch of degrees?
Him: She’s book smart but has no common sense. I think she just married me for my name anyway.
Her: Oh, I thought you married her for her name. HaHa!
Him: Very funny.
Her: It’s kind of obvious, Dude.
Him: You don’t know.
Her: I saw your son’s graduation picture the other day. He looks just like you.
Him: I’m just happy I didn’t have to pay for him.
Her: She never asked for support?
Him: No way. She pinned it on another guy after I gave her directions to Planned Parenthood.
Her: HaHa! You really did that?
Him: There was no way I was gonna marry that fat fug. She knows why she got some.
Her: She should have named him Rolling Rock. LoL
Him: Yeah, total beer goggle moment for me back then.
Her: Right. And I’m so grateful too…especially for the STD.
Him: I thought you gave me an STD.
Her: Yeah, I think I gave you herpes.
Him: Shit, that was you? Fuck you.
Her: HaHaHaHa! You’re welcome.
Him: No worries. So when can I see you? I’ve missed you.
Her: Are you THAT hungry?
Him: The wife isn’t as adventurous. It’s frustrating.
Her: So how do you manage?
Him: I just go and get a bj from one of my students. No big.
Her: Aren’t you worried about losing your job? Or jail time?
Him: My students are very loyal and the school loves me.
Her: Nice. You should still be careful.
Him: I’ve been here over 10 years. I think I know what I’m doing.
Her: If you say so.
Him: So when can you make the drive over the hill?
Her: Well, I’m partial to my horses now. I’m so stretched out but my ass is tight.
Him: That’s good enough for me. The wife won’t let me go back door.
Her: Really? What a prude!
Him: No shit. She thinks it’s a sin.
Her: Bawhahahahahahaha!
Him: I know.
Her: How’s next week?