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Thursday, December 29, 2011
My Recent Dream
I was standing in an empty dirt lot with two other people - one being a small child. I had decided that this was a nice enough spot to build a house for myself. So I tried to force the house to appear with my mind and it wouldn’t. I couldn’t understand it for I could still conjure up big red apples to the palm of my hand at will. And I did to make sure I was still enchanted. The apple appeared in my hand then I gave it to the child who then ate it.
A group of surveyors showed up and began running diagnostics on the land. I approached one and asked about the property. I wondered if there was toxic waste or something abnormal in the dirt. I guy said no and then led me into the house next door. The house was very large and clean. I walked to the back door that had a large window in it and looked out. I saw four very large colorful cobra snakes grouped together. In one cobra I could see the form of a small child about 2 years old. His knees were slightly bent. In another snake I saw the form of a larger child about 7 or 8 years old lying motionless in the belly of the snake. Another cobra had swallowed what looked like an adult. This snake was much bigger and the person inside the snake was around 5’8. The last snake was the biggest. I’d never seen a snake, especially a cobra snake, this large. It swallowed an adult male and the man’s body took up a good portion of the snake’s body.
I thought about going outside and cutting the bodies out but the people were most likely bitten and therefore dead from the poison. Then I saw the two smaller snakes that had eaten the children, fighting over what looked like the tail of a dog. One was trying to pull the tail out of the other’s mouth. My only thought was that I had changed my mind about living in that area. I said, “I’m going back to California.” Then I woke up.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
My Morning Rant
I appreciate the super markets hiring intellectually changed people. A lot of companies don’t. I only ask that the ‘special’ employees wear visible tags that read, “Don’t ask me shit ‘cause I don’t know shit.”
I was in line at the register and while emptying my cart, realized that I had forgotten hotdog buns. So I asked the bagger, who was just standing at her bagging station, “Elizabeth? Hi! Could you do me a favor and get me one bag of hotdog buns, please? The store brand is fine.” Poor Elizabeth looked at me like I just asked to see her tits then the cashier repeated my request to Elizabeth then sent her to the bread section. A lot of time pasted, enough to scan and bag $100 worth of groceries, when Elizabeth finally and slowly returned. She was holding a French bread baguette. My only thought was, “Damn Bitch! You don’t even know what a fuckin’ hotdog bun looks like - and I know you probably live on that shit too.” The cashier, seeing the mistake, quickly left her station and within a few minutes returned with hotdog buns. She apologized for Elizabeth who was busy conversing with my 3 year old.
So, I feel my request is valid for no one really likes spending more time than needed in the grocery store and don’t you hate it when you’re in line at the register and the momentum is lost? It’s like being trapped in a one-way tunnel. You’ve got all your shit out of the basket only to stand there and wait and wait some more. I was the only person in line at first but by the time Elizabeth returned from her odyssey in the bread section the line at the register was three people deep.
I was in line at the register and while emptying my cart, realized that I had forgotten hotdog buns. So I asked the bagger, who was just standing at her bagging station, “Elizabeth? Hi! Could you do me a favor and get me one bag of hotdog buns, please? The store brand is fine.” Poor Elizabeth looked at me like I just asked to see her tits then the cashier repeated my request to Elizabeth then sent her to the bread section. A lot of time pasted, enough to scan and bag $100 worth of groceries, when Elizabeth finally and slowly returned. She was holding a French bread baguette. My only thought was, “Damn Bitch! You don’t even know what a fuckin’ hotdog bun looks like - and I know you probably live on that shit too.” The cashier, seeing the mistake, quickly left her station and within a few minutes returned with hotdog buns. She apologized for Elizabeth who was busy conversing with my 3 year old.
So, I feel my request is valid for no one really likes spending more time than needed in the grocery store and don’t you hate it when you’re in line at the register and the momentum is lost? It’s like being trapped in a one-way tunnel. You’ve got all your shit out of the basket only to stand there and wait and wait some more. I was the only person in line at first but by the time Elizabeth returned from her odyssey in the bread section the line at the register was three people deep.
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